There is absolutely no doubt about it: everybody wants to feel respected. It is a key component of both personal identity and interpersonal relationships that can be considered a basic human right.

In a broad sense, it is defined as “a feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities, or achievements”.

It is much more than a feeling

Nevertheless, irrespective of the way we feel about someone, it is the way one behaves towards others that holds the deepest meaning of the word. True respect (or its absence) is shown through actions, rather than feelings or emotions. But respect must go beyond popularity and superficial traits, because it refers to the ability to value and honor another person, both his or her words and actions, even if we do not approve or share everything he or she does. It is accepting the other person and not trying to change them.

Why does it matter?

Respect is important because without it, interpersonal relationships would be filled with conflict and dissatisfaction. One interesting particularity about respect is that it must necessarily be reciprocal. It is a two-way street in the sense that respect is a mutual exchange between two individuals. It must be given in order to be received; when one person stops giving it, the dynamic is no longer balanced. If we don’t respect others, they will not respect us, and if we don’t respect ourselves we will not be respected by others either.

Another particularity is that it is “democratic”: it comes down to simple decency and courtesy, which is something we all deserve regardless of rank, and can also give irrespective of the person we are talking to: be it the most prominent person in the country or the janitor at the office.

On the other hand, being respectful of others, being respected and respecting ourselves has been proven to increase self-esteem, self-efficacy, mental health, and well-being.

Therefore, being closely related to behaviors, it can be learned, trained and improved.

Why is it so hard?

So why can it be so difficult to put ‘respect’ on everybody’s menu? Because humans frequently act on the basis of the unconscious, which bypasses the mental process and directly connects to basic feelings and emotions, especially in the presence of a fight-or-flee response need to a stressful situation.

Things we all know but need to remember

There are many types of respect, the most important of which are self-respect and respect for others. And since we all spend a big part of our day interacting with others at the workplace, many times having to handle excessive workload, excessive demands, excessive pressure and excessive lack of rest that put us at risk of having the unconscious mind taking the driver’s seat, it is a good idea to go over a few principles we can easily apply and that will make our lives easier at work.

1- Don’t Forget to say “Hello”, “Good morning” or “Goodbye”, “See you”, “Thank you” – it is just a tiny detail that costs nothing and takes away barely no time, and the politeness it shows is a sign of respect for co-workers. You shouldn’t be surprised if you don’t receive those words if you don’t give them too.

2 - Use assertive communication: say what you mean and mean what you say, don’t feed rumors, don’t keep half-trues in the air or a hidden agenda because it will get noticed sooner or later; when something does not feel right, invite the other person for a straight talk, defending your rights while respecting the rights of the other, in an educated and non-aggressive manner, to clarify grey areas and get to clear common understanding.

(to be continued…)

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